Did you know that the opposite of love is not hate? The opposite of love is indifference. Indifference is not caring about another person, not being interested in what another person is doing, not having concern about that person, and not feeling sorry for that person.
In Margaret Mitchell’s book, Gone With the Wind, when Rhett Butler finally resigns himself to a life without Scarlett, finally accepts that she was just using him. What did he say when she begged him to stay with her? In the movie version, Clark Gable famously said, “Frankly, dear, I don’t give a damn.” And he walked away.
How many times have you wished that you could just let go of someone? Wish you could stop thinking about that person? Wish you could stop wondering what they are doing? Wish you could stop wanting to take care of them?
You know that you would be a million times happier if they were not in your thoughts.
The mistake that many people make is replacing love with hate. Hate, like love, is an intense feeling. Hate takes up room in your head. Hate keeps you thinking about that person and telling others how bad they are. What have you accomplished? Nothing. You have replaced one obsessive behavior with another obsessive behavior.
Recently, I had coffee with a great gal who had read Think Your Way to Happiness, and had a question about letting go of people in your life. “Can you really let go of people in your life?” she asked. “Is it okay just to let them go?” My response was, “Oh, yes! Sometimes it is better to spend less time with certain people or to think about them less, or not think about them at all. You are certainly doing yourself a favor, and you may also be making space for them to figure things out for themselves.”
“Oh, poor me!” is a game played by toxic people to get sympathy and attention. In Gone with The Wind, that was Scarlett’s ploy. “Where will I go? What will I do?” she pleaded with Rhett when she could see that he had finally had enough. Everyone in the audience was saying a big, “Yes!!!” when Rhett finally was indifferent to her games. We cheered when he finally said, “Frankly, dear, I don’t give a damn!”